i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Even my vagina gasped.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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