As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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