so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Randomize
