Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
