Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
