Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
