i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
