if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Girls should come with a carfax report
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
