she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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