The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
