playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
