You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
