I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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