He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
