Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
