You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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