i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
