so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
