Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
