i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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