can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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