i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
