i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
