Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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