I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
