Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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