He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
