ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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