Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize