They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Randomize
