Define "chronic" masturbator.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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