its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
