I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
