did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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