i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
