This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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