every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize