Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize