You're so nebulous sometimes
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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