he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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