She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
