i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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