Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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