'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
