Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize