me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
