Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
