his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
