yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
