Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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