just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
