i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
