You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
