You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
