I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He felt like a one man threesome
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
