Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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