Having a random hookup so left but love u
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
