afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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