hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
