so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
