is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
