Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
