don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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